hi my name is brittany and i'm obsessed with pugs, food and shitty movies.
#team aight lookin

(Source: validx2, via slim-and-svelte)

I just watched this movie called Don Jon…




Dude beat his dick 35 times in a week.

22 times in another week.

And… he was still fuckin’ girls. Fine ones.

How is his junk still functional!?

I watched Don Jon with my girl of the time, and you know how hard it was to keep a straight face through conversations such as

"haha, he beats off even though he’s in a relationship, that’s so tragic!"

"haha, yeah babe"

"He really doesn’t love that girl if he could watch porn all those times and get lost in that fantasy world, like is she not good enough for him?"

"I really don’t know (thanks the lord for subtitles to drown her out)"

"I’d feel so offended and unattractive if you were watching porn behind my back"

*sweats profusely* “shit bruh”

"Babe are you okay, you seem hot?"

"Yeah, its just the covers, I’m okay."

nah man

It ain’t worth it.

"you dont need to jerk off as long as you have me right babe?"


(via blackguyandrew)

have you ever been so wildly attracted to someone you can actually feel it driving you insane

(Source: sunndogg, via gphil)


ur not allowed to be busy youre my only friend

(via fingerblaster113)


Found this ad in a Nickelodeon magazine from 2004.
  • Comic Con: knock knock
  • Me: who's there
  • Comic Con: not you lol


i can’t wait until october when there’s no sun outside and everything is cute colors and it’s cold and there are terrible horror movies on tv, my power is at its peak then

(Source: bearzerky, via v3rvain)

"We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations."
Anaïs Nin (via observando)

(via h0odrich)

good god i love it when guys have chest hair.